Hot wings
Response to my last column was not what I had been told it would be. A couple of people said that I would definitely get letters (and not the good kind) and as Saturday loomed I started to panic. You may not believe this but I am terribly sensitive to criticism and praise. I love praise but can't take too much of it and I hate criticism and can only take so much before I'm pissed off. Not good criticism, which I find hard to take but always appreciate, but the kind that comes either from numb-nut morons that can't quite put a sentence together or from self-righteous dinks that harp on something they misunderstand in the first place and then go at it from there.
As I opened by e-mail on Saturday I was holding my breath, I thought I would immediately put all column-related messages in a separate folder and read them at night, if not, I was sure I would be thinking about them all day. Surprise, surprise, when I saw I only had one... a positive one. Now, I know I tried to write my column in a balanced manner that would offend only a dumb few, but one?
Circulation's not that bad.
Am I that bad?
No, that's not it.
But perhaps the biggest surprise of all was what the e-mail said. It was basically commending me for saying that Spanish speakers who live in El Paso should learn English, something I do believe but only a minor point in the context of the whole thing. A minor conservative point.
A week went by, Matt wrote his column, and as I was walking toward the parking lot Saturday night I saw one of the guards was opening the hood of his car. I considered him one of the less friendly guys in the rotunda but I couldn’t just walk by.
"Need any help?"
"No, it's fine," he said, walking to the trunk of his car to get a gallon of antifreeze. "You didn't have a column today?"
"Next Saturday," I said.
"I really liked your last one."
"Thank you."
"It's true, what you said, we should all know English and Spanish. My ruca, she's from Chihuahua and doesn't want to learn English. I have to get me one of those girls from UTEP -- educated -- so they know both. She's great though. She does the cooking and the cleaning, I guess you have to take the good with the bad, right?"
"Yeah," I said, thinking that if my ruca was hearing this she would have wanted to punch this guy out.
"Yeah, one of those UTEP girls, you know? Because you go to the movies and sometimes you can't translate what they're saying, there's no way to get what they mean. Then you become a teacher, and sometimes, shit, you don't wanna be no teacher. You just wanna see a movie.”
"You can't share things," I said, trying not to sound like the NPR-listening tink I thought I sounded like.
"Yeah, you can't watch the game or listen to talk radio, like Mike Savage, you know?"
Wait, wait, wait -- Michael Savage? That was like sharing a fan with Himmler. Here's a little quote from the guy in case you don't want to click on his name.
"With the [Latino] population that has emerged, since they breed like rabbits, in many cases the whites will become a minority in their own nation... The white people don't breed as often for whatever reason. I guess many homosexuals are involved. That is also part of the grand plan, to push homosexuality to cut down on the white race."
What a card. I mean, that might be our plan for the newsroom (sorry Jay, Matt) but not the entire white race...
My conversation ended shortly after that, we shook hands and I drove home. I couldn't help but think that it was strange that the only two people that seriously commented on my column had been people I would consider "not of my ideology" or "nice right-wing nutters." Was there anything to this? Was I more conservative than I thought?
Maybe…
• Although I've always considered myself a Jewish Democrat, I was recently informed that I am not now, nor have I ever been, Jewish. Perla also told me that in the political spectrum she considers me "right-center."
• I'm not into anal sex. Sorry Hollywood, but that's not the way I roll.
• I do hate at least one French person.
• I don't find Ann Coulter to be a totally disgusting excuse for a human being. Not totally.
• I don't hate the poor; I just don't care.
Maybe not…
• I may not be an Orthodox Jew but a little less bacon and I could easily pass for Reform (or as Jon Stewart called us "Christians with curlier hair"). Also, Perla has Hugo Chávez posters on her wall, so 'nuff said.
• Still not into anal sex, but I do like Barney Frank.
• I do hate at least one Baptist.
• Michael Moore is hot (in case he's not, just click again).
• I don't hate the rich; I just want to eat them.
Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. I don't think by column this week will settle the debate. It will probably be about food and I'm pretty sure Democrats and Republicans can agree that Chico's Tacos sucks ass. Am I right or am I right?
Perla insists she can't take down her Chávez posters because they're load-bearing. I say she's just a beautiful communist. I’ll let the authorities decide.
As I opened by e-mail on Saturday I was holding my breath, I thought I would immediately put all column-related messages in a separate folder and read them at night, if not, I was sure I would be thinking about them all day. Surprise, surprise, when I saw I only had one... a positive one. Now, I know I tried to write my column in a balanced manner that would offend only a dumb few, but one?
Circulation's not that bad.
Am I that bad?
No, that's not it.
But perhaps the biggest surprise of all was what the e-mail said. It was basically commending me for saying that Spanish speakers who live in El Paso should learn English, something I do believe but only a minor point in the context of the whole thing. A minor conservative point.
A week went by, Matt wrote his column, and as I was walking toward the parking lot Saturday night I saw one of the guards was opening the hood of his car. I considered him one of the less friendly guys in the rotunda but I couldn’t just walk by.
"Need any help?"
"No, it's fine," he said, walking to the trunk of his car to get a gallon of antifreeze. "You didn't have a column today?"
"Next Saturday," I said.
"I really liked your last one."
"Thank you."
"It's true, what you said, we should all know English and Spanish. My ruca, she's from Chihuahua and doesn't want to learn English. I have to get me one of those girls from UTEP -- educated -- so they know both. She's great though. She does the cooking and the cleaning, I guess you have to take the good with the bad, right?"
"Yeah," I said, thinking that if my ruca was hearing this she would have wanted to punch this guy out.
"Yeah, one of those UTEP girls, you know? Because you go to the movies and sometimes you can't translate what they're saying, there's no way to get what they mean. Then you become a teacher, and sometimes, shit, you don't wanna be no teacher. You just wanna see a movie.”
"You can't share things," I said, trying not to sound like the NPR-listening tink I thought I sounded like.
"Yeah, you can't watch the game or listen to talk radio, like Mike Savage, you know?"
Wait, wait, wait -- Michael Savage? That was like sharing a fan with Himmler. Here's a little quote from the guy in case you don't want to click on his name.
"With the [Latino] population that has emerged, since they breed like rabbits, in many cases the whites will become a minority in their own nation... The white people don't breed as often for whatever reason. I guess many homosexuals are involved. That is also part of the grand plan, to push homosexuality to cut down on the white race."
What a card. I mean, that might be our plan for the newsroom (sorry Jay, Matt) but not the entire white race...
My conversation ended shortly after that, we shook hands and I drove home. I couldn't help but think that it was strange that the only two people that seriously commented on my column had been people I would consider "not of my ideology" or "nice right-wing nutters." Was there anything to this? Was I more conservative than I thought?
Maybe…
• Although I've always considered myself a Jewish Democrat, I was recently informed that I am not now, nor have I ever been, Jewish. Perla also told me that in the political spectrum she considers me "right-center."
• I'm not into anal sex. Sorry Hollywood, but that's not the way I roll.
• I do hate at least one French person.
• I don't find Ann Coulter to be a totally disgusting excuse for a human being. Not totally.
• I don't hate the poor; I just don't care.
Maybe not…
• I may not be an Orthodox Jew but a little less bacon and I could easily pass for Reform (or as Jon Stewart called us "Christians with curlier hair"). Also, Perla has Hugo Chávez posters on her wall, so 'nuff said.
• Still not into anal sex, but I do like Barney Frank.
• I do hate at least one Baptist.
• Michael Moore is hot (in case he's not, just click again).
• I don't hate the rich; I just want to eat them.
Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. I don't think by column this week will settle the debate. It will probably be about food and I'm pretty sure Democrats and Republicans can agree that Chico's Tacos sucks ass. Am I right or am I right?
Perla insists she can't take down her Chávez posters because they're load-bearing. I say she's just a beautiful communist. I’ll let the authorities decide.
posted by Wendy at 12:18 AM
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