Our eunuch dreams
I was going to post this on Sunday but I was too depressed to do so, but after reading Adriana's post (sorry, friends only) I thought I might as well do it.
On Sunday, after going to see "Little Miss Sunshine," my friends and I ran into a guy called Almitri at a restaurant. I had met him, along with his girlfriend Nadia, when I wanted to tape a short from a 10-minute play I'd written in school. I only wanted Nadia to be in it but they sort of came as a package, so they were both the stars of my little experiment (one of many failed ones).
Anyway, we see him on Sunday and ask what he's doing. Turns out he's in Mexico City, trying out the whole music thing. He's hustling his demo around town, meeting people, getting some good feedback, attempting to find people who are as serious about music as he is -- in short -- he's fighting the good fight.
Then he asks what we're doing...
I'll tell you what we're doing. My friend Valencia, a very talented artist, works in HR; my friend Adrian is middle management in the Juárez equivalent of the Water Utilities; and me? Well, you know me. It was impossible not to feel, that, no matter what we tell ourselves, our dreams are out there and someone else is living them -- or at least doing the legwork to get them.
I must say that I'm closer to what I want to do now than I was while at Diario, which was an all-consuming monster that left little time or energy for anything else, but how much closer? I'm writing more, that's true. But will I ever attain the discipline needed to do something meaningful with what little talent I have?
The other day Adriana was telling me about the football games at her high school, and as she was describing it I got genuinely excited at what I saw in my mind. The first 10 minutes of a high school-set comedy (like "American Graffiti" or "Dazed and Confused" only in Anthony) flashed in my head -- more feeling than thought -- and I knew I just had to do it.
Did I do it?
Well, I'm still working on it. And by working on it I mean turning it over... thinking it over... mulling it over... until it's probably over. Like so many other ideas I've had.
I hope not, though.
In astrology, your 30th birthday (approximately) coincides with the return of Saturn. That is, the planet Saturn returns to the position it had when you were born, and with it comes a time of reckoning. Regardless of whether you believe in that stuff or not, psychologically or astrologically it's a time to either shit or get off the pot, or, more elegantly, it's a time to assess your life and make sure you're doing what you're supposed to be doing.
It's a time to right the course of your life or else you'll be in for more trouble down the line, when Saturn comes back in another 30 years and you find yourself at 60 wondering what happened to your dreams of launching the South El Paso Gentleman Caller-Tribune.
Anywho, big bad planet or no, we should all be lucky enough to be able to look inside ourselves, recognize what we truly want to do and go ahead and do it without being afraid. Because like I always say, if Dune has taught us anything (and I don't think it has) it's that fear is the killer. That, and that in shield fighting, one moves fast on defense, slow on attack, for that is the way of the Muad'Dib.
It would be funnier if I said I wasn't kidding about Dune, but that's just too geeky even for me. Seriously, I don't know about Dune. Seriously.
On Sunday, after going to see "Little Miss Sunshine," my friends and I ran into a guy called Almitri at a restaurant. I had met him, along with his girlfriend Nadia, when I wanted to tape a short from a 10-minute play I'd written in school. I only wanted Nadia to be in it but they sort of came as a package, so they were both the stars of my little experiment (one of many failed ones).
Anyway, we see him on Sunday and ask what he's doing. Turns out he's in Mexico City, trying out the whole music thing. He's hustling his demo around town, meeting people, getting some good feedback, attempting to find people who are as serious about music as he is -- in short -- he's fighting the good fight.
Then he asks what we're doing...
I'll tell you what we're doing. My friend Valencia, a very talented artist, works in HR; my friend Adrian is middle management in the Juárez equivalent of the Water Utilities; and me? Well, you know me. It was impossible not to feel, that, no matter what we tell ourselves, our dreams are out there and someone else is living them -- or at least doing the legwork to get them.
I must say that I'm closer to what I want to do now than I was while at Diario, which was an all-consuming monster that left little time or energy for anything else, but how much closer? I'm writing more, that's true. But will I ever attain the discipline needed to do something meaningful with what little talent I have?
The other day Adriana was telling me about the football games at her high school, and as she was describing it I got genuinely excited at what I saw in my mind. The first 10 minutes of a high school-set comedy (like "American Graffiti" or "Dazed and Confused" only in Anthony) flashed in my head -- more feeling than thought -- and I knew I just had to do it.
Did I do it?
Well, I'm still working on it. And by working on it I mean turning it over... thinking it over... mulling it over... until it's probably over. Like so many other ideas I've had.
I hope not, though.
In astrology, your 30th birthday (approximately) coincides with the return of Saturn. That is, the planet Saturn returns to the position it had when you were born, and with it comes a time of reckoning. Regardless of whether you believe in that stuff or not, psychologically or astrologically it's a time to either shit or get off the pot, or, more elegantly, it's a time to assess your life and make sure you're doing what you're supposed to be doing.
It's a time to right the course of your life or else you'll be in for more trouble down the line, when Saturn comes back in another 30 years and you find yourself at 60 wondering what happened to your dreams of launching the South El Paso Gentleman Caller-Tribune.
Anywho, big bad planet or no, we should all be lucky enough to be able to look inside ourselves, recognize what we truly want to do and go ahead and do it without being afraid. Because like I always say, if Dune has taught us anything (and I don't think it has) it's that fear is the killer. That, and that in shield fighting, one moves fast on defense, slow on attack, for that is the way of the Muad'Dib.
It would be funnier if I said I wasn't kidding about Dune, but that's just too geeky even for me. Seriously, I don't know about Dune. Seriously.
posted by Wendy at 2:28 AM
1 Comments:
Yes, it felt that way.
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